She was lithe and willowy
Her lips were soft and pillowy
Her nose in hue was reddish
A couple of burst capillaries
She asked me if I travelled
My defences all unravelled
Son of a cow, wow oh wow
Guess where I am now

I'm on holiday with the Major's daughter
What will the Major say
When he finds out that I'm out and about
With his daughter on holiday
In my life I've had my finger in many pies
None as embarrassing as this
I'm on holiday with the Major's daughter
In major bliss

I'm but a shy lieutenant so
When he says "squat" I say "how low?"
I pictured my dismissal
As we pumped upon the pedalo
Explain it truthfully
That she invited me
But the facts don't lie, I'm near Dubai
With the apple of his eye

I'm on holiday with the Major's daughter
What will the Major say
When he finds out that I'm out and about
With his daughter on holiday
In my life I've had my finger in many pies
None as embarrassing as this
I'm on holiday with the Major's daughter
In major bliss

(And the Major's daughter says)

A Major's daughter ought to be
Brave, exuberant and free
I put this theory forward
He applied the suncream liberally
Lieutenants obey Pa
And I'm his shining star
Where's the guilt if he's smartly built
In a regimental kilt

You're on holiday with the Major's daughter
Who cares what the Major says
When he finds out, if he will, which I doubt
That you're with me on holiday
In my life I've been with privates
Dragoons and colonels too
I'll graduate to generals by next year
You're on holiday with the Major's daughter
It's nice round here

(And the Major says:)

I'm the Major, obviously
My stern moustache is military
I practice zero tolerance
I suffer fools ungladly
I wonder who she took
For I would throw the book
At underlings whose fumblings
Preceded wedding rings

So who's on holiday with the Major's daughter
That's what the Major hums
It aggravates him to the state
Where he speaks in the third person
Teenagers will frolic, he's aware of this
He wasn't born yesterday
Still he wonders who's got his daughter
On holiday