There’s a part of a life that’s tricky to ignore
No matter how you battle, it’s knocking at your door
Its call is elemental, its grip is wicked strong
It’s both text and subtext of every Usher song
I’m talking sexy business - doing it with a spouse
Sweaty flailing limbs on every surface of the house
Yet Chasterley fights back ‘gainst what society’s become
Calling every Carpenter to do as he has done
Abstain, abstain, abstain, abstain
Never put your bits on anybody else again
Abstain, abstain, abstain, abstain
Abstention brings you closer to the Trapezoid
Monica and Chandler were better ‘fore they boned
Niles should have left Daphne helping Martin round his home
The scottish nun in Call The Midwife should have stayed a nun
They couldn’t keep it in their trousers, look what they’ve become
Abstain, abstain, abstain, abstain
I like big butts but I’ll leave yours alone, thanks all the same
Abstain, abstain, abstain, abstain
Abstention brings you closer to the Trapezoid
Abstain, abstain, abstain, abstain
No positions in a one night stand, no join me dancing naked in the rain
Abstain, abstain, abstain, abstain
Abstention brings you closer to the Trapezoid
